My sonshine.

I wrote this during my pregnancy. 

 I lay awake letting out a happy sigh,
My eyes closed treasuring every kick.
Hoping you'll have your father's eyes,
And that the year's won't pass too quick.

Hopes and dreams flood my mind,
I cannot wait to watch you play,
I will raise you to be strong and kind,
You'll be my sunshine when skies are gray.

My baby bloom sprouting new life,
It will be a relief to hold you close.
Made with love by husband and wife,
Who will always love you most.

Whatever life passage you roam,
I'll forever be your biggest fan.
I promise to always be your home,
Even when you're a man.

Soon your Daddy will cut your chord,
Our eyes will rise to see our son.
The most perfect gift from our Lord,
Our perfectly beautiful little one.

You've already brought such joy,
My sweet and darling baby boy.

Grandma's Girl.

I wrote this poem for a poetry competition a couple months before my Grandma passed away. I found out recently that I won the competition and the poem is going to be published. 

Poem for Iris.

No warm memories left to reflect on,

Long locked away with a forgotten key. 

I hold your hand and sing your favorite song,

In hopes you'll remember me. 

Ninety-two years seems quick when measured by life,

A tear falling as I whisper, "how unfair,"

To not remember when you were pronounced man and wife,

Or the seven beautiful babies you bared. 

The stories you'd tell under the shade of a tree, 

Wide eyed grandchildren hanging on every word. 

I promise to carry those memories with me,

And tell my children the same tales that I heard. 

I remember that all would yield to your word,

Your advice stood above the rest. 

I'll keep with me always the lessons I learned, because after all grandmas know best. 

I'll love you through each new chapter of this life,

And though I've grown too big for your lap,

I desperately wish through my sadness and strife, that just for a moment we could go back. 

Back to money snuck into chubby little hands,

To hugs and kisses over skinned knees. 

Back to when you were my biggest fan, and you still remembered me. 

So many warm memories left to reflect on, 

Your little pal I'll always be. 

I hold your hand and sing your favorite song, and you start to sing it back to me. 

Some thoughts on life.

We are all born lucky, lucky to have been born. There are fifty-million sperm released in every ejaculation, which means each of us had a 1/50,000,000 chance of being born. We also have to take into account our parents 1/50,000,00 chance of being born, and also the chance that they found eachother because only together can they make you. We could follow these averages and percentages all the way back to the beginning of time and our chance of exsisting would be 0.1% out of a number that would go on for pages, each of us just being born as who we are is an amazing miracle. We all have already won the life lottery, but why? Why are we here, and why are we who we are? What is the great reason? I don't know why we are all here, but we are and maybe that is purpose enough. We may never really see life for what it is, we may never fill in the colors of the big picture, but we can still give it meaning. Give your own life meaning. You can't truely live until you find something you would die for. Make the world a better place, even if it is just a small bit of the world. Find your own lifes purpose, not the purpose of life in general. If we were meant to know what life was all about we'd be born with that knowledge, but we're not. So to find the meaning of life, give life meaning.

Feet on the ground, Head in the sky, Fire in my heart.

I click across paths of pavement, every step another second on the clock. Ghosts of people glide by, I feel like I'm in the middle of a wasteland. The sounds of screeching tires and insincere how are you's flood into my ears until I'm quite certain they'll fall off, the worst part being I'd welcome such a loss. It's funny how alone a person can feel in a hive of hundreds. Hours pass, though they feel like days, and finally I find I've wandered into nature. I lay down and hold my breath until my flesh sinks down into the earth. I run my hands through the blades of grass like they were a lost lover's hair. I open my eyes and let the view wash over me like a wave over sandy footprints. Looking up towards the sky I realize I've never seen such a devouring contrast. The dark steady trees against the fleeting blue sky. Odd how together I feel with everyone in the world when I'm in a place they haven't yet touched. Whispers ride in upon a warm wind, teasing my ears with wishes and hopes. I feel safe. For a moment I know exactly who I am, and I promise myself that I will keep my feet on the ground, rooted into the soil of my past. I will keep my head in the sky, flying on the wings of my future. Lastly, I promise to keep a fire within my heart that burns so fiercely it will always remind me to seize the present day.

Tangled.

Tangled,

By Jessy Iris.

Two people on the same path, 

But heading different directions. 

He longed for home,

She just craved perfection. 

She envied the birds,

And he envied the trees. 

He wanted roots,

She just wanted to leave. 

She came from love,

And she grew up good. 

But that was no surprise,

We all knew she would. 

He had eyes like home,

Ironic as it seemed, 

The only home he knew,

Was kept in his dreams. 

Only God saw it coming,

Their lives started there,

When the young man yelled,

"Rapunzel let down your hair".

Loves a funny thing,

And when it gave it's cue,

Old wishes didn't matter,

And dreams became new. 

Someday Someone.

Tossing and turning, a private ballet of blankets and sheets. My breaths are silent and so is the world. I look at the stars draped over me like a veil and I feel like I'm the only one awake to see them, there's something so peaceful about feeling that alone. My thoughts turn to forever, as thoughts often do. I can almost see his face, almost taste his lips, almost feel what it's like to love a person as I'll someday love him. Is he hidden right beneath my nose, like a four leafed clover among a familiar field of green? Or perhaps he is like those stars hanging above me. Far away, occasionally twinkling me sweet promises of a someday. It's funny how you can miss someone so desperately without knowing who they are. I play make believe movies in my head until I wonder myself into sleep.

Bones.

Bones,
By Jessy Iris.

She walks on a wave of wind
And leaves charm in every step
But behind her perfect curtain
A remote secrets barely kept
Dying to fit a twisted mold
Eating calories she won't keep
She has no hands left to fold
A special brand of weak
Praises foster a porcelain prison
Drunk in a symphony of bones
An audacious madness has arisen
Sinking faster than a stone
Rare to see beyond a lipstick smile
She's still breathing, but has been dead awhile.